What came after saying Goodbye
by Yui-chan12
Summary: Gon closes his eyes as Palm bites her dark lips. He is grateful to the silence that returns into the conversation again, it gives him time to digest what he heard. Every spoken word is lead heavy in his stomach and Gon breaths out a soft, bitter chuckle. Well, this is what people who eavesdrop get.
1. what you weren't meant to hear

He is a bit early for their meeting but he can't help his eagerness: he's going to meet up with Killua after all and he can't arrive early enough for that. They agreed to meet in a park near to the city's market, grab something to eat and explore the market afterwards. It's been a while since they'd met so he is more than excited – hence his haste.

Gon is almost there, he can already see the low wall that separates the park from the rest of the street and he quickens his pace. He spots Killua soon too, the white-haired teen sits on the edge of the fountain with Palm next to him and that makes Gon stumble for a bit. He doesn't remember Killua saying he'll bring someone else with him so the dark haired boy is confused enough to slow down and just look at the two, observe them from a safe distance – although there is no safe distance if it comes to Palm, but she seems to be too immersed in her conversation with Killua, that she won't notice him. Probably. Hopefully.

It's still somewhat weird for Gon that Killua and Palm became friends considering how badly their relationship started. Killua looked slightly uncomfortable when Gon asked him about it, _I can't help it after all what happened_ was all he offered as explanation. Even though he tried to act indifferent Gon saw it in his look – sadness, pain and regret swirling in blue eyes what stopped the island boy from further questioning. Gon understood it well – it wasn't a time anyone from their group liked to think or talk about besides it's not like their friendship is a bad thing.

Gon continues to watch them. They seem so engrossed in their conversation that Gon doesn't want to interrupt them especially when he notices Palm's frown and Killua's annoyed expression. He shakes his head – they really can't have a talk without fighting, can't they? Though Killua's hunched shoulders and crossed arms make his positure look almost defensive, so maybe this isn't like their usual banter, this might be something more... serious.

"Why are you so stubborn?" The wind carries Palm's chiding words and Gon acts on instinct. He steps closer while masking his aura, focusing all his senses on his friends' conversation.

"I'm not!" Killua huffs and continues to glare at his shoes. "He doesn't need to know."

"Gon is your friend! He needs to know about it the most!" Palm counters and Gon feels his stomach sink. Still, he has a feeling that even though this isn't a conversation he is supposed to hear, he _has_ to.

"Oh my god, no! It doesn't matter anymore..." Killua's voice sounds strained like he is tired of this topic and he looks with a pleading look at Palm, but it warrants the opposite reaction.

"It doesn't matter?" Palm's voice jumps an octave as she gapes at the white-haired boy beside her. "You broke down crying in front of me because of that! And you say, it doesn't matter?"

Killua winces but doesn't say a word, getting too busy with staring at his shoes again. The silence stretches on for a few minutes before Killua lets out a long exhale.

"What do you expect from him knowing it, huh?" He mumbles, but Gon can hear it clearly thanks to his sharpened senses. "He already apologized. The rest is my stupid problem."

Gon closes his eyes as Palm bites her dark lips. He is grateful to the silence that returns into the conversation again, it gives him time to digest what he heard. Every spoken word is lead heavy in his stomach and Gon breaths out a soft, bitter chuckle. Well, this is what people who eavesdrop get.

"Okay," Palm finally says and it temporarily snaps Gon out of his misery. Killua's soft sigh of relief doesn't go unnoticed either. "I don't agree with you, but this is your life, your decision."

Killua nods, his gratefulness is apparent only in his eyes, but it shines in them clearly. Palm sighs and stands up, straightening her dress out.

"I'm going now, he should be here soon anyway," she looks at Killua with concern. "Take care of yourself! Or well... try to, okay?"

Killua huffs, his lips curling into a weary smile. "Got it!"

After Palm leaves, Gon sits at his hiding place for a bit longer, trying to force his expression into a neutral one, but he fails at it. Badly. Eventually he stands up and starts walking towards Killua. When the white-haired boy looks up and their eyes meet Gon really hates how he can't hide his emotions. It takes Killua only one look at his face to know that he heard the conversation.

Gon stops in front of his friend and looks into his blue eyes.

"Hey" he says. Other than _I'm sorry_ he doesn't have anything to say so he stays silent.

Killua stares back, his expression void of any emotion.

"Hey."

* * *

 **A/N:** Requested by atnak16 on tumblr!  
Prompt used for this fic was: _things you said that i wasn't meant to hear._

Here I am with another prompt fic!  
Sorry for not writing more, life is kicking my butt as per usual, and now that I'm tutoring I have even less time to write, orz

For this fic: I always wondered what would happen if Gon would hear about Killua's breakdown _you know when_ so I just wrote this. Tho I didn't write anything in particular about what happens, but yeah...

I hope you liked it atleast a bit!


	2. you are the lightning in my dreams

They're sitting in a coffee shop; their steaming beverages were placed in front of them by a nervous looking waitress just a moment ago. Gon knows what the cause of her nervousness is; he saw the side glances she threw at Palm even when they ordered their drinks. Not just the waitress though – almost every guest and other employees stared at her with varying subtlety, and it made him angry. He knows Palm is a bit special (especially now), but is it really such a big deal, that everyone has to gape at her so impolitely?

"Stop glaring at them, it's rude!" Palm chides him softly, blinking at him from over the rim of her raised cup, snapping Gon out of his fuming.

"They're the rude ones!" Gon exclaims not even trying to lower his voice. "Staring so openly at others is very impolite, they should know this too!"

As if on cue, several heads turn away like they found something interesting on the ceiling or the walls - it would be comical if it wouldn't be one of his friends who was under their scrutiny just seconds ago. He still has a few things to say but before he can open his mouth to voice them Palm smacks him lightly on the head with the menu.

"Stop it already!" She says, her tone a bit firmer this time. "I know why you're angry and I really appreciate it, but I don't mind. I'm used to be treated like a weirdo, it's nothing new," she smiles wryly and props her chin on her palm, the crystal ball on her forehead gleaming with the movement.

Gon frowns. It's true that Palm always looked a bit out of place with her dishevelled appearance and strange behaviour, but ever since the chimera ant war it's hard not to notice her - even if she covers the scaly parts of her arms and legs, her skin tone and the crystal ball on her forehead stand out too much. No one knew what Palm went through, why she looks the way she does, everyone just stares and scowls at her, yet she still sits there smiling like it's really nothing, looking completely calm as she sips on her coffee (still with way too much sugar in it), not minding the piercing glares.

It feels wrong.

And infuriating. So-so infuriating.

"But Palm, you're beautiful!" Gon blurts out boldly like always.

Palm just blinks at him in surprise then bursts out in laughter, bending over the table. Gon doesn't know what to do; he didn't think his statement would warrant this kind of reaction especially because when he first said it, Palm got incredibly flustered. It's starting to become a bit embarrassing, he can feel the heat crawling up his cheeks.

"Did I say something weird?" He asks awkwardly.

"I'm sorry..." Palm still pants for air, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, softly coughing after regaining her composure. "You're still the same charmer like before, huh? Good to know this didn't change either!" She smiles at him, winking at the end of her sentence, making Gon blush for real.

"I meant it!" He mumbles, scratching the back of his head. Even if Palm says he didn't change, there are quite a few things that changed in him. He was always bold and not the type who got easily embarrassed (like a certain white-haired ex-assassin), but nowadays it happens to him more often than before. He changed.

"I know you did" Palm nods, the teasing smile disappearing from her face, the look in her eyes softening "and I'm thankful for that. But enough about me! Why did you call me to meet up so suddenly? What did you want to talk about?"

The smile drops from Gon's face in that instant, his stomach in knots. He was so caught up in the rude behaviour of the people around them that he almost forgot - or maybe he got so irritated by it because of the happenings earlier that day, he wasn't so sure. Now it's all on the front of his mind, he sees Killua's blue eyes becoming void of any emotions, his posture changing into something like an unbreakable wall and Gon knows, this is all his doing.

Palm lets out a soft sigh. "Actually, you don't need to tell me. I knew you would call me sooner or later."

Gon raises his head to meet Palm's sympathetic gaze – she looks at him almost like Mito did when he was younger and got into trouble. This is enough to make him feel even guiltier.

"You saw me," it's not worded as a question, it shouldn't even be. It's not a surprise for it's almost impossible to hide from her eyes.

"I did," Palm nods and she draws her fine eyebrows together into a frown. "I checked where you were after I left the park and I saw you hiding there."

"I'm sorry," Gon bows his head in apology, thinking it might sound just as cheap as the one he said to someone else not so long ago. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I can't say I agree with you completely in this," Palm sighs again and Gon looks up confused, "but it's true that it wasn't a nice thing to do. I'm not angry at you at all, if that's what you think. I just can't understand: why do you want to talk about this to me and not Killua?"

Gon looks down at his drink again but doesn't really see what's in front of him. Palm's question is a legit one; he really shouldn't discuss this with her but with Killua. He _tried_ to bring it up but Killua just waved it off, changed the topic or just ignored his attempt to talk about it, he could see the silent " _don't ask"_ plea in those blue eyes the whole time. Also, Gon was afraid. Afraid of what he might hear, afraid of hurting his friend _again_ , afraid of what might come after he hears the truth, so he stopped after a few failed attempts for the sake of the fake peace Killua set up with his evasive behaviour. Still, the bits he overheard gnawed at him and it felt like they're going to eat him alive if he doesn't know the whole truth, hence he sought out Palm.

"I couldn't bring myself to it," he murmurs as explanation and Palm sighs softly with sympathy across the table once again.

Still, just remembering the afternoon they were supposed to spend with exploring and having fun makes the guilt resurface and gnaw at him stronger than before and he can't stand the silence. His thoughts are crushing enough.

"I have a recurring dream," he says to break the silence and Palm raises an eyebrow at the non sequitur. He smiles bitterly as he continues: "About Killua. He looks... sad."

The brief explanation doesn't even cover his dream. It's dark around him but he can see Killua clearly, because his friend shimmers with a blue shine, his hair is spiky with electricity. He looks incredibly strong and breathtakingly beautiful like that, but despite his appearance, Killua watches him with horror written all over his face, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open as if a scream could escape it any moment. After a few moments Killua leaps forward towards him with his arm stretched out almost as if he wants to hug him, or _push him away_ from some sort of danger and Gon wants to reassure him, to tell him " _it's okay now"_. He wakes up right after that.

He notices Palm watching him with growing worry so he continues: "I don't remember too many things from that night," he unclenches his fist before he goes on, "but after hearing your conversation I think that dream... isn't just a dream. I must've done something horrible to him..."

Palm closes her eyes and covers her face for a moment, probably to wipe away the tears and Gon looks out the window, he has enough discretion to not stare at her.

"Listen," she says after a few moments and Gon takes it as permission to look at her again. "I don't know what happened between you two, but I know for sure, Killua was very desperate to help you. That boy..." she pauses to take a deep breath, eyes watering again, "he begged me in tears to help you because he felt like he couldn't do it. Whatever happened, he wanted nothing but to support you with everything he had. You understand, right? He treasures you more than anything, so please Gon, talk to _him_ instead of me!"

* * *

[GON] 03:08 am

 _Killua, could we meet tomorrow and talk about today? I know you don't want to, but I don't want to leave like this. Please?_

...

...

...

[killua] 03:45 am

 _see you at the same spot at 1 pm_

[GON] 03:45 am

 _thank you._

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello again, I'm alive!

This fic was originally a one shot, but few people asked for sequel, and after a sleepless night last year I started writing this. I haven't touched it since then, but now that I'm still on vacation this week I thought I could finish it to practice and get back into writing.

Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! Reviews and faves are highly appreciated


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